A Typical Conversation with The Leaf Guy (Mean Version)

(At my other blog, I call myself The Leaf Guy)


Leaf Guy: (types FB status) Be calm; it's haircut mode.

Cring: (comments) Nagpa-semikalbo ka, Jay?

Leaf Guy: Hindi, pero iba kasi yung interpretation ng mga barbero sa 'bawasan lang ng konti sa gilid'.

Cring: Oo. (looks at my new profile photo) Yan na yung new haircut mo? May kamukha ka.

Leaf Guy: Waah! Sino?

Cring: Haha. I don't wanna break your heart.

Leaf Guy: Siguro ang pangit nun.

Cring: Hindi siya tao, Jay.

Leaf Guy: Hamag man. Hayop yung kamukha ko? Hahaha.

Cring: Ikaw na ang lalaking Aleem!

Leaf Guy: (gasps, si Aleem, classmate namin nung college na mukhang...well...) Ansama mo. Lagot ka kay Aleem mamyang gabi. Lilipad yun papunta diyan.

Cring: Sige, i-try niya dalawin ako, nakahanda na yung krus tsaka bawang ko.

Leaf Guy: Hagisan mo pa ng asin.

Cring: Wait lang, didikdikin ko muna yung bawang para mas effective.

Leaf Guy: (musing) Baka wala ng dila si Aleem; kanina pa niya nakakagat yun.

Cring: Baka kinukulam na ako nun.

Leaf Guy: Baka nagpapahid na yun ng mahiwagang langis niya. (sighs, I should keep the meanness to a minimum. New Year na new year. Tsk. )