This Ghost and Condoms

I tried taking a nap earlier, even though it was hotter than six shades of hell in here. I cranked the fan to level 3 and pointed the rush of air directly to my back. An hour later, when I realized the most I could do was closing my eyes while enduring the sauna-like heat, I got up in frustration.

“Never-fucking-mind,” I muttered. That was Spanish for, “I’ve had it.” :D

So I opened the laptop, went online and watched some porn. 

The guys doing the huffy with the girl, I noticed, weren’t wearing condoms. I grimaced; that has got to be unsanitary, right? Who knew what wild creatures lurked under those depths. I mean, that has got to be chlamydia country right there.

Strangely, that triggered a memory of something I witnessed at a supermarket as a kid. No, I didn’t see some couple doing the pleasure horseback-dance at the supermarket. As far as I’m concerned, that’s still frowned upon in most societies. XD

Anyway, my mother took me to the supermarket one day when I was about seven. It was always a treat going to the supermarket. I love it; even now when I’m twenty. All those junk food and chocolate in the brightest of packages;  blue, red, green, yellow, purple, pink, orange; all waiting to be bought and enjoyed. Bottles of oil, pickles, peanut butter, jam, ketchup; cans of corn kernels, beans, corned beef; noodles and biscuits, potato chips and french fries, softdrinks and marshmallows, coffee and mixes and lots and lots and lots; it was all a whirlwind of scents and colors.

I didn’t even mind my Ma dragging me to the cosmetics aisle because it smelled good in there. Or to the part with all those knives (sharp enough that you could perhaps hack a Jonalyn fish’s head off in one try) and plastic containers.

So, for being such a good boy, my Ma bought me my favorite treat. We waited at the line to the counter, where the cashier was at. There was a young couple in their twenties in front of us, waiting for the line to move too. 

I was staring at the shelf of mints by the counter when I heard the young couple laugh. My ears prickled; there was something strange about the laugh. I looked up at them.

The couple was holding each other passionately and their eyes had a glint of a little something that I hadn’t understood until I was in my teens. They were in conversation with the cashier girl.

The cashier girl was smiling too, though a bit awkwardly. She was adding up the couple’s purchases. Suddenly, the guy reached over to the shelf with the mints and picked up this small square pack in silver from a box. The box had TRUST printed on it.

I assumed it was some exotic, imported candy. 

The guy naughtily showed the package to the cashier and they all laughed. The female half of the couple blushed and pinched the guy, but she was smiling too. Before I could ask my Ma what was so funny about that pink square thingy, she noticed me looking up in interest at the couple and she covered my eyes with her hands. 

When the couple left, my Ma exchanged some words with the cashier. The cashier had stopped smiling and she and my Ma shook their heads disapprovingly.

I knew better not to point at the TRUST box and ask Ma to buy me one. We left soon after and I forgot about it.

Until now.

And that was how I was introduced to condoms. Years later, I touched one, even sniffed at one when my friends in school decided to do a sexy show-and-tell that would’ve gotten us into trouble if our adviser knew.

In college, we made balloons out of the material and played with it. 

But it would still be a long time before I used one. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. XD

And since we’re talking about condoms. Here’re some interesting facts about it. 

                      

• Around 99% of condoms are made of latex while the rest are made from lamb intestines.

• The Egyptians reportedly used condoms in the 1350BC, which were mostly prepared from animal bladders or intestines (you probably don’t want to live as an Egyptian woman back then)

• Condoms in the 16th century were made of linen.

• Condoms in the 18th century were made from sheep, lamb and goat intestines, and sometimes even from fish skin (cool, Jonalyn’s skin has some other fun use XD)

• The Danish word for condom is ’svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel’ (which is an awesome word to use while buying one at a drugstore when you get the case of the ‘shy’)

Info source here. 

‘Til next time!

—This Ghost