This Ghost is Crushing

Well, this is awkward. I’ve always been leery talking about ‘em; never mind the fact that I wrote Why This Ghost Doesn’t have a Girlfriend’, which is about my admiration for the girl, Yoyie. 

I remember the time Gino, my classmate used to pester me about it. 

“Nakay intersaduhon ka sa buhay ko?” (Why are you interested in my life?) I’d ask him. 

He used to do it when we’re alone. Perhaps he was bored during those times. Gino and I weren’t exactly close; we’d talk, we’d go on our way and we respected that distance. 

Most of the time anyway, and then he’d take it upon himself to dig into my love life. 

“Ikaw ang pinaka-misteryoso digdi sa klase, wara ako masyado aram sa gusto mo,” (You’re the most mysterious guy here in class; I don’t know much about you) he’d say. 

And then he’d launch into: “Do you like girls?” “Who’s the girl you like?” “Do you like boys?” Usually, one of my classmates would come along to interrupt, or I’d just smile, shake my head and leave. Or something would distract him, and he’d leave. 

Until the next day. Then, it’s the same old questions all over again. 

I never had a girlfriend but I’ve crushed on some since I was old enough to think about sweet, lovey-dovey things. I hope you’re satisfied, Gino. This is practically my love history here. :P

Eunice – I wonder where she is now. She was like the love of my life when I was in 1st grade. We used to hold hands under the table during class and I remembered a time when I kissed her hand and her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. 

That was a time of innocence, a puppy-love thing. I think that love affair lasted about three days because I might’ve remembered I was still 7 and should be out playing tag instead of playing a girl. Hell, I wasn’t even circumcised that time. 

But wherever Eunice is now, I do hope she’s happy and in love. 

Criselda – She was like a long-time prospect of mine because I crushed on her since 2nd grade ‘til 6th grade. And she knew I liked her. Of course, she wanted nothing to do with me because she was a good, smart girl who’d never have a love life until she’s all grown up with a stable job and her own house. Or maybe I just wasn’t her type. 

I thought I loved her. 

I used to like it; swell up in pride when my classmates teased, “Uyy,” when we’re together. I used to walk her home every day, carried her books for her, even tried flattery. Never worked. I think, deep inside, she was uncomfortable being with me (hated me even) but was too polite to say so. Fact was, we never were and she’d be first to say that up front, even if I acted like she was mine and mine only. 

Apparently, my love wasn’t enough to stop the competition. Criselda and I were top of our class, always, and we’re both vying for that first honor award every year. It just goes to show that even if you loved someone (or thought you did) it wouldn’t matter. I wanted that first honor ribbon. And I sabotaged some of her projects just to get a higher grade. In the end, though, she became valedictorian, thus ending my admiration for her. 

That was a crazy time. And now that I think about it, it was almost cute, and at the same time, pretty stupid. Mostly, I was horrified that I was mean enough to mess up her homework just to get ahead. 

Last year, I saw Criselda at the PUV terminal in Daraga. We’d graduated at the same high school, both gone to BU, though she took up Civil Eng. She didn’t see me (or pretended not to) and we both rode the same van home for the weekend. I was actually with Jonalyn (this girl buddy of mine) that time. 

Anyway, I was staring at her, Criselda not Jonalyn, from the corner of my eye and she was with this guy who might be her boyfriend or brother. I put my money on bf. While Jonalyn drooled on my shoulder on the ride home, I noticed that Criselda and her guy was that couple who’re together but doesn’t talk much; a frigid relationship. 

Maybe they fought? I didn’t really care anymore but I might’ve smiled a bit. 

Pau – Ahh, Pauline Grace. It’s always uplifting to think about Pau. I remember the time I transferred to their class in high school, freshman year, and she asked me point-blank, “Aram mo kung ano ang masturbate?” (Do you know what masturbation is?) 

Pau, if you’re reading this, don’t mind me, it’s just that I love going through the abovementioned memory; it’s nostalgic. :D 

You gotta love a girl who’s not afraid to talk about sex and all the things related to it. Orgasms, most of all. I love it that she’s sharp-smart, has a clear-cut common sense and can curse like the worst of them. She can be mean when she has to, and that’s okay to me too. I love her type of meanness. 

But she’s not that all the time. She’s also very sweet and loyal. And her smile’s not something to be missed. 

We both love anime. We both love to draw manga (she can do it better). We both love writing (she can do that better too). 

She said she has a crush on me on high school, and I was flattered. But I didn’t do anything about it. No ligaw; nothing. I don’t know why I couldn’t handle it that time; I was wondering if I left that boldness after I graduated in grade school. 

But we remained good friends. Pau is strong, brave and not afraid to speak her mind. She can put people in their place with a few choice words and a cold look. I LOVE that about her. And she’s so good to hug, curvy and soft and warm. Plus, she always smells nice. I love the times we went out together when I was in Manila for my internship. 

Now that she’d be a nurse, I wouldn’t mind being her first patient. 

Yes, I still like her that much. :D 

Katma – Another girl where the crush hasn’t crossed that line to love. Katma became my classmate in sophomore year in HS; a pretty girl of Chinese descent. She can write and speak Chinese, which is extremely cool. Pale, slim, with high cheekbones, Katma is beautiful. Still is. 

With her I started the first stage of courting. I slept thinking about her every night and my heart just beats so fast when she’s around. I was in heaven when she smiled at me. 

Of course, nothing happened. We both moved on to other things. 

I saw her last year too. I just left the mall and was walking to another mall to book-browse and she was right there, standing near a thrift shop, waiting for a jeep to take her to her apartment. It was so nice to see her and hug her and talk to her and catch up. She’d been studying Nursing at AUL. I gave her another hug before we went our separate ways. She thanked me later via text: “Thanks sa hug. Pampawara problema nan pressure sa school.” (Thanks for the hug. It helped relieve some of the pressures in school.) 

I was smiling and thinking, “Aww…” 

Katma’s so nice. 

Crisna – Cring’s my classmate all through college. Small and cute with a smile like Vanessa Hudgens, Cring is very appealing. She catches attention with her cool and calm, though she’s not afraid to get loose once in a while. She loves dancing and she’s a beautiful sight when she breaks down on the dance floor. 

She’s fun-loving and polite; scary-cold when she’s angry. Her bestfriend, Rose Annt told me once: “Tahimik lang minsan yan si Cring pero pag nadagit na siya grabeng makukulugan ka sa mga sasabihon niya.” (Cring seems quiet but when she gets angry, you’ll get the most hurtful tongue-lashing.) 

I always like girls when they’re not always nice and sweet. That song from Ne-Yo, “When You’re Mad” comes to mind. 

Yoyie – Okay, I’m not gonna repeat myself. Just read, Why This Ghost Doesn’t Have a Girlfriend (coming soon). 

I guess I’m pretty lucky to have met all these girls. :D