This Ghost's Friends

Okay, let me just say that writing about my own life is getting a bit harder now, and this is only my second real post, mind you. I guess all those years of not confiding anything to anyone is taking its toll that even I can’t confide in me. You get what I mean, right? 

It’s not easy for me. Being friendly, pouring out all my feelings to someone, emotional displays; those are things I don’t normally do. I’ve always had this emotional bubble wrap around me that stops people from getting too close, which might explain why I never had a bestfriend, and the reason why some people who’ve known me for years still don’t get me. 

Childhood years have always been ripe for budding friendships. For me, not so much. When I was little I’d go out, play with the neighborhood kids, have fun, talk each other silly, play some more. But at the end of the day, I realized now, even if all my playmates suddenly upped and left, I wouldn’t really care. I’d notice our block devoid of ongoing patintero and hide-and-seek games and I’d just shrug, “Oh well.” 

It’s always been that way, even when I was in grade school. Emotional disconnect. No bestfriend, just some classmates who’re fun to be with. 

I’m not saying I’m an outcast, or an introvert. I’m not any of those. What I am is moderately sociable; and even if I’m in a hug-touch basis with my friends, I don’t lay out everything to them. I still have a bit of a reservation; and that’s something that’s important to me. 

I may not have THAT bestfriend but GOOD FRIENDS I got plenty. They are those who are SO COMFORTABLE to be with that I’d be almost willing to tell them EVERYTHING and spend all the hours of the day with them without getting sick of the same-old, same-old.

High school freshmen year: that’s when I met Peter Eman Villapando and Pauline Grace Navarez. 

At an internet shop back in high school. From left: Peter, Pau and me. 2004.

Peter and Pau – Nothing’s gonna change the warm and cozy feeling I have for these two. We’re a threesome; fire, water and air bonding together, siblings of the elements. 

Both are strong and loyal, extremely smart and extremely likable. 

Peter’s like a walking conscience, a voice of good reason. And he’s full of life, always fun. He’s got a creative mind, a bucketful of positivity. His determination to reach whatever he sets his eyes on is admirable. 

Pau is someone I really respect; she deserves it. She’s very frank and will never take bullshit from anyone. She’s sometimes mean-scary, but I love her for being that scary. She reminds me of my Ma; both can give you a look that’ll put you in your place. It’s amazing how she pulls off that strong personality but still be lovable and fun. 

At an outing (one of the many where I was always the no-show). Bacon Beach. 2009.

They showed me real friendship, something that won’t fade with time and distance. Pau might have her heart set on healing the sick in her cool, effortless way; Peter might have locked on to the world of business with his friendly charm and creativity, and I might do what I do best in writing and media, what we have will always be strong. 

I love them, and it’s not even awkward to say that. I don’t think we’d ever be awkward with each other ever. That bond in high school, growing up together in the midst of raging hormones, insecurity and indecision, it will be forever. :D 

On to College, where I met Ralph Revelar Sarza and Johana Vi Gasga. 

Ralph and Johan – They are my most notable friends during my years in BU-CAL. Hanging together, we are different personalities blending into one satisfying whole. 

At an outing after college graduation (I was a no-show. Again. The outing, not the graduation)
That's Johan and Ralph. April 2010.

Ralph is gay, whereas my good friend Peter is a bit gay—like a bouquet of pink roses—Ralph however, is very gay—a meadow-full of blooming pink roses in fact. But Ralph is good people. When in need of a good laugh, Ralph is the best company. Me, him and a coupla other friends wander around Daraga and Legazpi City just chilling until 1am. I admire the fact that he’s very smart, though lazy (aren’t we all? Well, maybe not Johan) and how he’s very loyal and willful to the things he believe in. I like the way he strings words together and his interest to all things happening in the local and international scene. 

Johan is like a refreshing breath of innocence in a world where girls just can’t keep their legs crossed. A smart, sensitive girl, Johan’s a friend I admire and respect. It’s also remarkable how her being bubbly and childlike translates to efficiency and maturity. She’s soft-spoken but very strong; lively yet serious. It’s a weird, wonderful thing. 

Messing around in the classroom on breaks (we have a LOT of breaks in college) 2009.

Peter, Pau, Ralph and Johan: I consider you all my good friends and I hope that in the times we’ve spent together, I’ve been a good friend too. You all have faults, as do I, and I love you all for it. 

See ya all soon, okay?